


I'll Be Your Light in The Dark

by Rawrgoesthedinosaur2015



Series: The Merthur series [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Magic, Protective Arthur, Protective Knights, Sad Merlin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2018-11-20 09:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrgoesthedinosaur2015/pseuds/Rawrgoesthedinosaur2015
Summary: Merlin knew that his place was with Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, but there were times when he doubted it.





	1. Chapter 1

Spending hours on a horse was not Merlin's idea of fun, but it was made almost unbearable with hardly any sleep and a visiting noble along for the duration of the trip. Lord Gwer was a burly man, with a deep voice and a reputation for being cruel. 

Abandoning his usual place at Arthur's side, Merlin trailed behind the group and stayed quiet as they rode through the woods. The sun had just begun to sink behind some distant mountains, when Arthur decided that they should make camp and Merlin got straight to work on his chores. 

Laying the final bedroll out, Merlin got the fire going and started on dinner. It was a while, before everyone had finished eating and he collected the bowls to clean at a stream that ran nearby. 

"You boy," Lord Gwer shouted, causing Merlin to approach and bow his head in respect, "I need more water and my horse needs tending to, make sure you see to it." 

"Of course," Merlin replied, picking up the nobles waterskin off the floor and heading back to the stream with his shoulders slumped. 

Returning to the camp, Merlin delivered the waterskin to Lord Gwer and then stumbled over to his bedroll in hopes of sleeping. Waking up the next morning, Merlin tended to Lord Gwer's horse and rushed to prepare breakfast as everyone began to stir. Watching the flames dance in the gentle morning breeze, Merlin slipped into his own head and jumped as a hand gripped his shoulder. 

"Easy," came Lancelot's voice from beside him, "Is everything okay?" 

"Why wouldn't it be?" Merlin asked, looking over at Lancelot and seeing the concern swimming in his steady gaze, "It's nothing, I just..." 

"Where's my breakfast boy?" Lord Gwer practically growled, making his way over to the fire and towering over Merlin threateningly. 

"It's right here," Merlin mumbled, dishing some food into a bowl and handing it over. 

Eating his own breakfast away from the group, Merlin sat back against the trunk of a tree and listened to the conversation going on between the others by the fire. 

"How is it that you ended up with that servant of yours Arthur?" Merlin heard Lord Gwer inquire. 

"He was rewarded that position by my father, after he saved my life," Arthur explained, a hint of pride in his voice and Merlin couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face. 

"If it was me, I would have gotten rid of him as soon as I knew how clumsy he was..." Lord Gwer told him, "I've seen how disrespectful he is towards you and your knights, thinking that he is an equal... that sort of behavior is easily fixed." 

"Is that so?" Arthur added. 

"Oh yes," Lord Gwer stated, "I've always told your father that he is far too lenient with the servants, they need to know their place and a little harsh discipline always does the job. That boy of yours would benefit greatly from a time in my household, he'd soon learn his place... " 

"I understand that you have your own ways of dealing with your servants, Lord Gwer..." Arthur cut in, anger clear in his voice, "I, however, do not believe in the mistreatment of the people that serve me and I would ask you politely to keep your thoughts to yourself." 

The conversation quickly changed after that, but the tension in the air was thick and Arthur soon gave the order to pack up camp. They continued their hunt for most of the afternoon, before finally turning back and heading home to Camelot. 

Lancelot rode beside Merlin on the journey back, remaining silent and glaring at the back of Lord Gwer's head. Once they had stopped to let the horses rest, Merlin collected everyone's waterskins and trekked a little way through the trees to fill them at the stream. 

Hearing heavy footsteps approaching him, Merlin tensed and turned to find Lord Gwer standing behind him. The look in the nobles eyes made Merlin uneasy, so he quickly finished filling the last waterskin and stood up to make his way back to the others. 

He had only taken a few steps, when a large hand wrapped around his wrist like a vice and yanked him back roughly into the bigger man's chest. With one hand holding him still, Merlin felt the other come around his throat and panic surged through him as the man spoke. 

"You need to know your place boy," Lord Gwer whispered in his ear, sending a shiver of fear down Merlin's spine, "You're not an equal... you're nothing but a lowly servant, do you understand me?" 

Nodding his head as much as he could, Merlin gasped as the hand disappeared from his throat and frantically fought to regain control of his breathing. Rejoining the group, Merlin handed out the waterskins and returned to his horse without a word. 

Arriving back in Camelot just before dark, Merlin took Arthur's horse's reins and silently headed towards the stables. 

*** 

Watching as Merlin took the horses back to the stables with no complaints, Arthur bid Lord Gwer goodnight and waited until the noble was out of view before turning to his knights concerned. 

"Does anyone know what's going on with Merlin?" He asked, hoping that someone had an answer and that he could fix whatever the problem was. 

"I don't know," Lancelot replied, "I did ask him and he was about to tell me, but Gwer interrupted our conversation." 

"I'll try and talk to him tonight, but keep a close eye on him... especially while Lord Gwer is here," Arthur stated, earning nods from his knights and turning to leave as Gwaine spoke. 

"Don't worry your royal head, princess... we'll figure out what's wrong with him." 

Rolling his eyes at his friend's comment, Arthur chose to ignore it and made his way to his chambers. He was lost in deep thought, when someone knocked quietly on his door and he was snapped back to reality. 

"Enter," he called, looking up as the door opened and Merlin entered. 

"Sorry I'm late," Merlin mumbled, heading to the prince's wardrobe and pulling out a fresh set of sleeping clothes. 

Once he was dressed and Merlin had turned down his bed covers, Arthur observed his manservant with a frown. The usual smiling, bumbling, chatty idiot was suddenly quiet and it put Arthur on edge. 

"Merlin?" The prince said, drawing the boys attention away from the dirty laundry he'd been picking up, "Is something that matter?" 

"No, why?" 

"You're doing your chores without complaint and you've hardly said two words to me, since we left on the hunting trip." 

"Sorry." 

"I don't want you to apologize, Merlin," Arthur told him, moving over to the younger man and lifting his chin with his thumb, "I want you to tell me what's wrong?" 

"I'm just tired, is there anything else you need Sire?" Merlin asked, stepping away from Arthur's touch and making his way over to extinguish the candles. 

"No, that will be all." 

"Goodnight, Sire." 

"Sleep well, Merlin," Arthur mumbled as Merlin left, climbing into bed and staring at the ceiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin gets injured...

Lying on his small cot back in Gaius' chambers, Merlin stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours and slowly drifted off into a restless sleep. Waking with a gasp a few hours later, Merlin quietly slipped out without waking his mentor and made his way down to the armory. Lighting a few candles, Merlin sat on the cold concrete floor and got to work polishing Arthur's armor ready for training that morning. 

Standing outside Arthur's door two hours later with his breakfast in hand, Merlin took a deep breath and entered without knocking. Placing the tray on the table, he immediately approached the curtains and threw them open to allow the light of a new day to stream in. 

"Rise and shine," Merlin said in his usual cheery voice, causing Arthur to groan in protest and bury his head under his pillow, "You have training with the Knights this morning, if you don't get up now you won't have time to eat and we all know how cranky you get without food." 

Ducking to avoid the pillow that was thrown at his head, Merlin moved over to retrieve some clean clothes for Arthur to wear and then went to collect his armor. By the time he returned to the chamber, Arthur had finished eating and Merlin helped him get ready for training. 

Following Arthur down to the training field, Merlin greeted the Knights with a grin and moved over to the side to await orders. He was watching Lancelot spar with Gwaine, when Lord Gwer joined them and Merlin lowered his gaze to the ground. 

"Lord Gwer," Arthur greeted, "What brings you here at such an early hour?" 

"I was hoping to join you in your training," Lord Gwer replied, "I've heard great things about you and your knights, it would be an honor to experience such greatness first hand." 

"It would be a pleasure to have you." 

"Would it be possible to borrow your manservant to help me with warming up?" Lord Gwer asked, causing Merlin's head to snap up and dread to wash through him. 

"Of course," Arthur agreed reluctantly, glancing over at Merlin, "We train with blunt blades only in Camelot and I would ask that you adhere to such rule." 

"Boy," Gwer shouted, causing Merlin to flinch and move forward with his head down, "Fetch me a training sword and get ready with a shield." 

Merlin hurried over to the weapons rack and collected a sword, before lifting the shield. Returning to where Gwer was waiting, Merlin handed over the sword and quickly strapped the shield onto his arm. He had just slipped a helmet on his head, when Gwer attacked and struck the shield with as much force as he could muster without warning. 

***   
Hearing the harsh clang of metal, Arthur turned his attention towards where Gwer was warming up with Merlin and grimaced as he brought the training sword down to connect with the shield that Merlin held in front of him. Arthur was known for going hard on Merlin during training, but never had his manservant been in any danger of walking away seriously harmed and he wouldn't allow that to happen now. 

Watching Gwer take another swing, Arthur froze in horror as the training sword missed the shield and connected with Merlin's exposed side, sending him to the ground with a pained cry. Before he could move again, Arthur saw Lancelot run to Merlin's side and rushed over to join him as he tried to assess the injury. 

"I'm okay," Merlin insisted, although Arthur could see that he was trying to hide the tears that had formed in his eyes and the pain that was clear on his face, "It was an accident, one that I'm surprised hasn't happened before..." 

"Lancelot, Percival, take Merlin to see Gaius and report what is said back to me," Arthur ordered, knowing that Merlin would hide the true extent of his injuries in order to continue his duties and turning to the rest of his knights that were watching Merlin concerned, "The rest of us will continue with training... Gwaine, why don't you spar with Lord Gwer?" 

Taking a drink from the water skin that Merlin had brought down for him, Arthur stepped to the side to observe and felt a hint of satisfaction as Gwaine made his first move. Gwaine wasn't one to hold back, especially when he was worried about someone he cared about and definitely not when that person was Merlin. 

Gwaine disarmed Gwer within minutes and had the Lord on the ground, stepping away once Gwer yielded. Helping the man to his feet, Gwaine swapped places with Leon and moved to stand at Arthur's side. 

"How's Merlin?" Gwaine inquired as Lancelot returned. 

"He's lucky," Lancelot stated, glaring at Gwer as he continued, "None of his ribs are broken, but Gaius has wrapped them and given him something to help with the discomfort." 

"Where's Percival?" Arthur added. 

"Merlin is coming back with him in a short while." 

"Good," Arthur mumbled, glancing over at Gwer and feeling anger rise in his chest, "Do you think that it was an accident?" 

"I do not, but Merlin is insisting that it was and that he's equally to blame for not paying more attention." 

"He's an idiot," Arthur snapped, although there was a hint of affection behind the words, "Leon, swap with Lancelot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin gets a break away from the castle with Lancelot, Arthur shows some interest in Merlin's day!

Pulling his tunic on over his head with a grimace, Merlin used his magic in order to dull the pain and left his room to head back down to the training field. Rolling his eyes at the sight of Percival waiting for him, Merlin grabbed his jacket and followed the large knight through the castle.

Reaching the field, Merlin watched as Lancelot sparred with Lord Gwer and flinched as his friend brought his training sword down heavily upon the noble’s shield. Lord Gwer was red in the face by now and sweat beaded on his forehead as he held up his hands to signal that he’d had enough, before moving to the side with his hands resting on his knees.

“Are you okay?” Arthur asked, catching Merlin’s gaze and holding it as he waited for an answer.

“Yeah, nothing broken…” Merlin replied with a shrug, swallowing nervously and looking away.

“Good to hear,” Arthur added, clearing his throat and turning away as he continued, “You still have chores to do.”

“Clotpole,” Merlin mumbled.

The rest of training went by without incident, although Merlin was very aware of Lord Gwer staring at him and had to fight the urge to run. He was supposed to be this all-powerful warlock and yet, under the piercing gaze of the noble he felt vulnerable… exposed almost. 

Collecting Arthur’s dinner from the kitchens a while later, Merlin made his way up to the prince’s chambers and paused as he heard raised voices from inside.

“Your father’s health is deteriorating, it is only a matter of time before you will need to step in as Prince Regent and start making some of the decisions that your father is currently in no state to make,” Agravaine shouted as Merlin knocked on the door and entered, when Arthur told him too, “The longer you leave your father running things, the more Camelot suffers and that shows weakness.”

“I will hear no more speak of this until I have spoken to Gaius, then and only then will I make a decision on how best to move forward,” Arthur told his uncle, earning an abrupt nod and deflating a little as Agravaine swept from the room, “Thank you, Merlin.”

“Is there anything else you need?” Merlin inquired.

“Not at the moment, I know that Gaius needs you to collect some herbs for him,” Arthur replied, surprising Merlin, “Just take one of the knights with you, not Gwaine though… he and Leon are on patrol soon.”

Returning to his mentor’s chambers to find out which herbs were needed, Merlin collected his satchel from his room and left in search of Lancelot. The mere thought of getting away from the castle for a while, made something within Merlin’s chest loosen and he felt like he was able to breath.

“Merlin,” Lancelot greeted with a smile as he approached him. 

“Hey,” Merlin replied, “I need to go collect some herbs for Gaius and Arthur told me to take someone with me, can you come along?”

“Sure.”

Readying their horses, both men left the walls of Camelot and headed out to where they would find the herbs Gaius needed. Arriving at the clearing a few hours later, they tied their horses to some nearby trees and got to work. Once he had found everything, Merlin hung the bag on his saddle and took a seat next to Lancelot on the grass.

“I like being out here,” Merlin mumbled, drawing Lancelot’s attention to him, “I feel free… I love Camelot, but out here, everything is just so full of life. I don’t have to hide away from who I am…”

“Everyone deserves to be who they really are… no matter if they are good or bad.”

Making their way back as the sun set, Merlin felt anxiety begin to twist in his stomach and hesitated at the gate. Unsaddling his horse, Merlin dropped off the herbs and then went to tidy away Arthur’s dinner.

“Did you manage to gather everything that Gaius needed?” Arthur asked as merlin got him some night clothes from the cabinet, hanging them over the screen and pulling back the bed sheets.

“Yeah,” Merlin stated, smiling at the fact that Arthur was actually inquiring about his day, “Lancelot came with me.”

“That’s good.”

“It’s nice to get away from the castle for a little while.”

“Are you saying that you don’t enjoy my company, Merlin?” Arthur joked.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, sire,” Merlin retorted sarcastically, picking up the tray and heading towards the door, “Will that be all?”

“Yes, don’t forget that we have a round table meeting in the morning and I expect to get there on time,” Arthur reminded him as he struggled out the door with the dinner tray precariously stacked in his arms.

Handing them over to the kitchen maid, Merlin took off along the corridor that would take him to his chambers and tried to scream as someone pulled him into an empty chamber with their hand held firmly over his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very good with the language from those times... I'm sorry if some words are wrong!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwer is broken record, Merlin states his opinion and Arthur shows a different side.

Struggling against the firm grip of his captor, Merlin felt panic rise through him and fought hard to keep his magic from lashing out in protection. Spotting Lord Gwer standing on the other side of the room, Merlin thrashed around even more and eventually sagged in defeat when it became apparent that he wasn’t getting away.

“We need to have a talk, but I warn you… if you shout out or try to escape, I will kill you, do you understand?” Gwer growled, earning a nod from Merlin and motioning to the man that was holding him to let go.

“What do you want from me?”

“I just want you to learn your place,” Gwer told him, moving forward and tilting Merlin’s head back with his thumb.

Staring into Gwer’s angry eyes, Merlin swallowed nervously and felt his stomach turn as Gwer smirked at him.

“Please…” Merlin pleaded, recognizing the animalistic glint in the man’s eyes and doing the only thing that his panicked mind could come up with. Bringing his knee up into the older man’s crotch, he ran out the door and made his way straight back to Gauis’s chambers as fast as he could.

“Merlin?” Gaius said as he crashed through the door, breathing heavily and heading directly for his room, “What is going on?”

“It’s nothing, Gaius, I am just tired,” Merlin lied, wondering how long it would be until he was arrested and punished for attacking a noble.

“Are you not going to eat dinner?” Gaius added with a frown.

“I’m not hungry,”

“Okay, sleep well my boy.”

Sitting on the edge of his cot, Merlin removed his boots and laid back. Staring at the ceiling, he slowly drifted off into a nightmare plagued sleep and woke up with a gasp as the sun began to peek over the horizon.

Eating the porridge that Gaius made him, he headed down to the kitchens and collected Arthur’s breakfast. Knowing that the prince would still be sleeping, Merlin slipped inside his chambers as quietly as he could and placed the food on the table. Pulling back the curtains, he turned to the sleeping prince and was surprised to find him staring back.

“Morning, Sire,” Merlin greeted, retrieving some clean clothes from the wardrobe and hanging them over the changing screen.

“Morning,” Arthur replied, sitting up and watching as Merlin moved around the room.

Pouring Arthur some water as he sat down to eat, Merlin did everything he could to avoid the princes gaze and concentrated on his tasks. Following Arthur to the council chambers a while later, Merlin stood behind the prince’s chair and listened as Agravaine argued with his nephew.

“You need to take charge,” Agravaine finished angrily.

“Merlin,” Arthur called, causing Agravaine to frown as Merlin stepped forward, “You know the people better than most… what do you think?”

“I agree that you should take over from your father, but I believe that my reasons for you doing so may differ from your uncles…” Merlin stated.

“Arthur, this is most inappropriate… he has no say in matters regarding the kingdom, he’s merely a servant.”

“Are you questioning my actions, uncle?” Arthur inquired, watching as Agravaine fell silent and returning his attention to Merlin, “Carry on with what you were saying, Merlin.” 

“The people are scared, they have heard rumours of the king’s illness and are unsure as to what to believe. They need reassurance, they need to see that there is someone ready to lead… someone who will protect them and fight for them if the need arises.”

“Are words not good enough?” Agravaine added.

“Words hold little meaning without the ability to back them up with actions,” Merlin replied, picking his words carefully and hesitating on what he knew he needed to say next.

“Say what is on your mind, Merlin…” Arthur ordered, giving his manservant an encouraging nod and listening as he spoke.

“Although actions would speak louder than words, it is not so much the words that the people distrust… it is the person they are coming from.”

“How dare you,” Agravaine shouted, taking a few steps towards Merlin and finding his path blocked by Gwaine, “Move aside.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Gwaine said, gripping the hilt of his sword in a threatening manner and staring as Agravaine glanced over at his nephew for help.

“Sir Gwaine, take a seat,” Arthur instructed, “You too, uncle, it is understandable that the people are wary… thank you for your honesty, Merlin.”

Moving back to where he had been standing, Merlin caught Lancelot watching him and was surprised to see a hint of pride gleaming in his friend’s eyes. Ignoring Agravaine’s glare for the remainder of the meeting, Merlin returned to Arthur’s chambers and quietly helped the prince into his armor.

“Do you require me to accompany you to the training fields, sire?”

“Yes,” Arthur mumbled, catching Merlin’s wrist as he fastened the final piece of armour, “What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Are you angry because I put you on the spot in the council meeting?”

“No, it’s not you,” Merlin admitted, knowing that the prince wasn’t going to let the subject drop and deciding to give him a least half the truth, “I’ve just been reminded a lot lately that I am nothing but a servant, so perhaps I should start acting as such…”

“Merlin,” Arthur stated, keeping hold of his wrist and turning to face him, “If I wanted a proper servant, I would have sacked you as soon as I knew how clumsy you were and hired someone like George. I don’t want you to change… you may be an idiot, but you are our idiot and I like things the way they are.”

“You do care,” Merlin teased, smiling at Arthur as the prince tightened his grip a little and let go.

Merlin had forgotten all about the altercation he had had with Gwer that morning, until he rounded the corner to find him training and everything rushed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was re-written three times, but it's finally here.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur steps up in order to protect his people and Lord Gwer leaves!

Keeping his gaze on the ground, Merlin stood at the side of the training field and tried his best to hide the fact that he was broken. Not once in his short life had he met a man that instilled so much fear within him, not even Uther and he would have Merlin executed for simply being who he was. 

"When is it that you plan to set off today?" Arthur asked Gwer as he stopped practicing to rest. 

"I was planning on extending my stay actually, if it's okay with your father of course," Gwer replied, causing Merlin's head to snap up and his heart rate to quicken as panic crept through his body. 

"I doubt there will be a problem with that," Arthur stated, although Merlin could tell that he wasn't happy about it, "I shall talk to my father about it after training." 

The rest of the training session went by in a blur and Merlin didn't complain when Arthur told him to grab a shield, using that as an excuse not to think about Gwer. Following Arthur back to his chambers, he helped the prince out of his armor and tidied up while Arthur went to speak to the king. 

"Is everything okay?" Merlin asked as the prince barged into the room, sitting down at the table and ripping apart a piece of bread that Merlin had brought up with Arthur's lunch. 

"My father has no issue with Gwer staying longer, I, on the other hand, do and he would hear none of it," Arthur told him, "Lord Gwer puts everyone on edge, even the knights and all my father cares about is the alliance between the kingdoms." 

"Alliances are important," Merlin mumbled. 

"Not if it affects the people involved negatively, what's your opinion on Gwer?" 

"It's not my place to pass judgment on a Lord, Arthur," Merlin said, biting his tongue and turning away. 

"You've never let that stop you in the past, Merlin," Arthur added, "I want to hear your opinion." 

"Lord Gwer is a powerful man and Camelot could truly prosper from an alliance with him, but his power was not gained through respect... he gained it through fear of punishment," Merlin replied, turning to look at Arthur and continuing, "I don't believe that a kingdom should fear the people that are supposed to help them in their time of need." 

"In other words, you think that Gwer is a bully?" Arthur inquired, earning a nod from Merlin, "For someone who shouldn't be passing judgment, you sure are good at reading people... I appreciate your honesty." 

"It's my duty to serve in any way you require, what are you going to do?" 

"I'm going to go speak with my father and convince him to let me step in as Prince Regent, before his decisions destroy the kingdom that my family fought to build." 

Dropping Arthur's dirty plates off at the kitchen, Merlin made his way up to Giaus' chamber and walked in to find the old man up a ladder looking for a book. Memories of the day he had arrived rushed through his mind, the moment the wooden railing had given way and he had instinctively used his magic in order to save his guardian. 

He had used his magic almost daily after that, whether to aid Arthur or protect Camelot... forever risking his own safety without credit. Gaius had scolded him numerous times for being reckless and he understood that he was facing grave consequences should he get caught, but sometimes it was necessary when the fate of Camelot's future was at stake. 

After a few days of arguments, Uther finally surrendered to the idea of Arthur stepping in and he was publicly crowned Prince Regent of Camelot. Standing behind Arthur as he addressed the people, Merlin felt a wave of pride as they cheered and dutifully followed the prince to the council chambers. 

"Nephew," Agravaine stated as soon as he took his seat, falling silent when Arthur held up his hand and began to speak. 

"My first act as Prince Regent will be to have Lord Gwer leave Camelot," Arthur announced, earning numerous nods of agreement, "For the safety and well-being of my people I believe this to be the right course of action, but I understand that this decision is not mine alone to make." 

"Is it a good idea to turn away our allies?" Agravaine inquired. 

"His presence is spreading fear through the kingdom and it isn't just the people, even the knights have become uneasy," Arthur replied, "I need to show them that someone is listening." 

"Our alliance with Gwer's kingdom is an important one," Agravaine argued, "His army is strong and he brings us food in return for our blacksmith's weapons." 

"Are you suggesting that I neglect my duty as a leader in order to keep the assets of an ally?" 

"I am merely reminding you that Lord Gwer's alliance is valuable, especially when it comes to showing strength in numbers in the face of the enemy," Agravaine added. 

Disregarding his uncle's interruptions, Arthur put the issue to a vote and Merlin had to fight the urge to cheer as the other men agreed with the Prince. Lord Gwer was escorted to the gate later that day, bidding Arthur farewell with a bow and fixing his gaze on Merlin as he promised to return in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooo sorry for how long you've had to wait for this update, I totally hit a wall with it BUT I am back! As you read Lord Gwer has gone for a little while and I wanna just spend a few chapters concentrating on Arthur, Merlin and the knights as things change in Camelot. 
> 
> A quick question: I want to involve Morgana in the story, but I'm not sure whether to go with good or bad Morgana?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! Here's some deep conversation...

The air seemed lighter in Camelot after Lord Gwer's departure, the people seemed happier and Merlin noticed that the knights were less on edge. Merlin's own mood improved dramatically and he believed that nothing could sour it, until Arthur decided that he wanted to go hunting. 

"Nothing good ever comes from your hunting trips," Merlin complained as they rode through the woods. 

"That's because you scare everything away with your constant complaining," Arthur argued, causing the young warlock to roll his eyes, "Please, just do us all a favor and shut up, I would like to return to the castle with something for once." 

"Perhaps we could cook you, your head alone would feed the entire population of Camelot and it would make my life just a little more bearable," Merlin joked, although he noticed that Arthur didn't respond with one of his usual witty comebacks and instead nudged his horse to walk faster. 

"When do you plan on stopping for the night, princess?" Gwaine asked, passing Merlin to catch up with their leader, "I'm starving." 

"There should be a clearing up ahead," Arthur replied, "We'll set up camp there." 

Reaching the clearing, Merlin tethered his horse to a nearby tree and got straight to work. Sitting by the fire a while later, Merlin watched as the dinner cooked slowly on the fire and looked up as someone sat beside him. 

"Dinner won't be too long," Merlin stated, glancing over at Arthur and knowing from his expression that something was bothering him, "What's bothering you?" 

"If I make your life so awful, why do you stay?" Arthur inquired, keeping his gaze on the dancing flames of the fire, "I mean, you could always pack up your stuff and leave... you're not a prisoner." 

Surprised at how hard his words had seemed to hit the prince, Merlin felt guilt swirl in his chest and knew that he needed to pick his next words carefully. 

"I didn't mean that, I just think that sometimes you forget that I'm only one person..." Merlin mumbled, wanting to be honest, "I'm happy to serve you until the day I die, Arthur, never forget that and never doubt it either." 

"I've never once doubted your loyalty to me, Merlin, although I often question whether I truly deserve it or not," Arthur stated, "I just don't always understand how you can show such loyalty to someone who treats you as I often do." 

"I've seen many different sides to you, Arthur, both the good and the bad, but all have been connected to one thing," Merlin explain, causing Arthur to frown in confusion, "Your heart... your emotions drive you, everything you do is done because you care or because you're protecting the kingdom that you love. A man who trusts in his heart is a man worthy of anybody's loyalty in my eyes, you will one day be king and perhaps you will be the person to bridge the gap between King and those below him." 

"You honestly believe that I could make such a change?" Arthur asked, taking the bowl of food that Merlin was offering him and starting to eat as the rest of the knights joined them. 

"Many people believe that a lot will change under your rule, you're capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for and I am hopeful that in time you will see what everyone else does." 

"All I see is a princess," Gwaine added, earning a swift kick from Lancelot, "I agree with Merlin though, you'll be a mighty fine queen one day... one that I will be honored to fight beside." 

Earning echoes of agreement, Gwaine gave Merlin a wink and launched into one of his many tales about his drunken adventures. Collecting the dirty bowls once everyone had finished, Merlin made his way down to the nearby stream and began washing them. Catching movement to his left, he tensed as a dark figure moved towards him and relaxed as Lancelot joined him. 

"Thought you might appreciate some company," Lancelot said, taking a seat and grabbing one of the bowls to wash as he continued, "He needed to hear that from you, you know..." 

"I know." 

"Then you must also know that although I am loyal to Arthur, my loyalty to you will always come first," Lancelot told him, drawing Merlin's attention away from the bowls, "I would not be in the position I am without you, Merlin." 

"It's what friends do," Merlin mumbled, "I don't fit in with the other servants because of my role at Arthur's side and my mother sent me away from my home to keep me safe, but I've found a place among the knights of the roundtable... I found my place along a path that was once lonely." 

The next couple of days passed without incident and Arthur managed to get in a few decent kills, before deciding to head home. Seeing Camelot come into view, Merlin couldn't help the smile that spread across his face and tapped his heels lightly against his horse's side to catch up with the others. 

Handing the horses over to the stable boys, Merlin made his way to Gaius' chamber and found the old man putting some sort of liquid into a small glass bottle ready for delivery. 

"Ah Merlin, I need you to take this to Morgana," Gaius ordered without looking up, placing a stopper in the top and handing it over to Merlin, "She must drink all of it." 

"Hello Merlin... welcome back, Merlin... glad you're not dead, Merlin," Merlin grumbled as he set his bag on the floor and took the bottle, heading back out the door towards Morgana's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	7. Chapter 7

Making his way through the castle, Merlin stopped outside Morgana's room and rapped on the door. Waiting for a response, he smiled as Gwen opened the door and went in as she stepped aside to allow him entry. 

"My lady," Merlin greeted with a bow. 

"Come now, Merlin, I have told you many times before that you do not have to bow to me," Morgana scolded lightly, causing Merlin to straighten, "What brings you here?" 

"Gaius asked me to deliver this to you," Merlin replied, retrieving the bottle from his pocket and handing it over, "Are you still having those nightmares?" 

"Not as frequent, but Gaius' medicine seems to make the ones I do have more bearable..." Morgana explained, "How did your trip with Arthur go?" 

"Bloody, I'll never understand the enjoyment he gets from hunting down and killing an innocent animal." 

"Arthur doesn't take you on those hunting trips for the killing... not entirely anyway," Morgana told him, "It's more about escaping the castle and the responsibilities that fall on his shoulders, of course, who he takes with him says a lot also about his motives behind these impromptu trips." 

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked with a frown that Morgana and Gwen seemed to find amusing. 

"You'll figure it out in the end." 

Shaking his head in confusion, Merlin said goodbye and made his way back to Gaius' chamber. Having just enough time to eat some of the stew that Gaius had put together, he returned to his duties and collected Arthur's dinner from the kitchen. Hearing the sound of raised voices coming from the prince's room as he approached the door, he knocked to announce his presence and entered once given permission. 

"Your dinner, sire," Merlin stated politely, bowing his head in greeting and placing the tray on the table. 

"Thank you, Merlin." 

"If there's nothing else you need, sire, I will leave you to your conversation with your uncle..." 

"You can stay, Merlin, this conversation can wait until the council meeting tomorrow," Arthur added, dismissing his uncle and sitting down at the table. 

"Arthur..." Agravaine started, falling silent under the prince's glare and bowing as he swiftly exited the room. 

"I'm sorry if I interrupted something important." 

"I'm glad you showed up when you did," Arthur mumbled, his features softening as he turned to look at Merlin, "Join me." 

Taken aback by the sudden offer, Merlin reluctantly took a seat beside Arthur and accepted the goblet that he held out to him. Swallowing nervously, he took a sip of his drink and watched out the corner of his eye as Arthur began to eat. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Merlin inquired, knowing that the invitation to join him was a silent plea for a listening ear, "I don't mean to pry..." 

"Someone was caught using magic in the lower town and Agravaine believes that it was a warning," Arthur explained, "My uncle wants me to cancel the upcoming tournament and put Camelot on high alert for a magical attack, but I disagree." 

"If you put the kingdom on alert and nothing comes, you will have put your people through unnecessary fear," Merlin argued, "They need to see that you are not scared of magic... besides, a lot has happened and I know that the knights are looking forward to venting some of their stress upon the battleground at the tournament." 

"Sometimes you scare me, Merlin," Arthur said with a chuckle, "You're dangerous enough when you're tripping over your own feet and rambling on like a girl, but then you say something that tells me you might actually have a brain somewhere inside that head of yours." 

"Don't sound so surprised, I sometimes start to believe that you may not actually be a total prat... actually that never happens," Merlin joked with a grin, rubbing his arm as Arthur's fist connected with it, "Can I ask you something that will probably land me in the stocks?" 

"I'd say no, but I know that you won't listen..." 

"Do you trust your uncle?" 

"Of course," Arthur told him, although Merlin saw the flash of uncertainty in his eyes, "He's family..." 

"Just be careful, Arthur, sometimes even blood isn't thick enough to ensure loyalty to the crown," Merlin replied, standing up and gathering the dirty plates back onto the tray with the goblets. 

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked with a frown. 

"Nothing, I just have a bad feeling that's all..." Merlin mumbled, picking up the tray and leaving before Arthur could respond. 

Something about Agravaine's arrival didn't feel right to Merlin and although he knew that Arthur would be devastated, he was sure that his uncle would betray him. For a while, he had suspected that Morgana was working with him in order to take the crown for herself, but he soon discovered that she didn't trust him either and Kilgarrah had made it clear that she would stand side by side with Arthur throughout his reign as king.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are hectic, Merlin wants to help Morgana and Gaius doesn't give him much choice in the matter

The next week was hectic with preparations for the tournament getting underway and the arrival of competing knights, but Merlin couldn't worry too much about all of that. His main priority was keeping Arthur safe during the tournament and with so many newcomers roaming around, it wasn't going to be an easy feat. 

"Have you polished my armor ready for the knight's parade tomorrow?" Arthur asked as he ate his dinner, causing Merlin to roll his eyes and chuck the laundry he'd been collecting in the basket. 

"Yes, Arthur for the hundredth time... I have polished your armor and your tournament sword, as well as the horses, saddle just in case that was on your list too." 

"That wasn't on my list actually," Arthur added, standing up from the table and disappearing behind the dressing screen to get changed, "Once you've taken my dinner tray back to the kitchen, you are dismissed for the night, oh and Merlin?" 

"Yes, Arthur?" Merlin replied, collecting the tray from the table and heading towards the door. 

"Try not to be late in the morning." 

Bowing his head in response, Merlin took the tray down to the kitchen and returned to Gaius' chambers in order to get some sleep. Assuming that Gaius would be asleep, Merlin entered as quietly as he could and was surprised to find his mentor sitting at the table. 

"Something the matter?" Merlin inquired as he closed the door behind him. 

"Morgana had another of her nightmares, but this time resulted in her curtains setting alight," Gaius explained. 

"Is she okay?" 

"She's shaken, but I gave her a stronger sleeping potion and Gwen is watching over her." 

"What can I do to help?" 

"I never thought that I'd be saying this, but I think that you should tell her about your gifts," Gaius stated. 

"What?" Merlin asked, unsure whether he had heard correctly and needing to hear it again to make sure. 

"I think that you should tell Morgana about your magic," Gaius repeated, "Like yours, Morgana's magic seems to be connected to her emotions and at the moment she is terrified. Perhaps if she knew that she wasn't alone, then her control would improve and she could start using her magic for good." 

"On the other hand, she could reveal my secret to the entire kingdom, including Arthur and I could end up headless or burnt to a crisp," Merlin argued. 

"That is a risk that you would be taking, but this could also be a step towards a brighter future for magic users," Gaius told him, "The burdens that you carry could be shared, Arthur would be safer within the walls of Camelot and you wouldn't have to embark on your destiny alone." 

"I'll go see her in the morning." 

Heading to bed with thoughts swirling through his mind, Merlin managed to get some sleep and woke up extra early with a sense of anxiety bubbling in his chest. Ignoring the breakfast that was on the table, he made his way down to where he would find Lancelot and lightly tapped on the door. 

"Merlin?" Lancelot said as he opened the door, "Is everything okay?" 

"Yeah, or it should be, I was hoping that you'd accompany me to do something." 

"Why do I get the sense that whatever you are about to do may not end in your favor?" 

"That's a good possibility, but it's important that it gets done and I could really use the support of a good friend." 

Feeling a wave of relief wash over him as Lancelot nodded, Merlin waited for Lancelot to join him and led the way through the castle. Taking a deep breath as they reached Morgana's chambers, he knocked and entered when given permission. 

"Ah, Merlin," Gaius said as he spotted the young sorcerer. 

"Gaius," Merlin replied, noticing how tired Morgana looked and offering her a smile that she half-heartedly returned. 

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful Gaius, but how exactly is Merlin supposed to help me with my nightmares?" Morgana inquired with a frown. 

"Merlin is here to prove to you that you don't have to deal with them alone," Gaius explained simply, knocking a vase of flowers off the table as he turned around and smirking as Merlin froze it in mid-air without thinking. 

Hearing a sharp intake of breath, Merlin realized what he had done and looked over at Morgana in horror. Backing up as she got to her feet, he relaxed a little as Lancelot placed himself in front of Merlin protectively and watched as Morgana observed the free-floating vase closer. 

"How did you do that?" 

"Magic," Merlin told her with a shrug, knowing that lying was pointless if he was truly going to help her, "I was born with it." 

"You've had magic all this time and you're happy to remain a servant?" 

"I believe that I was born to serve Arthur," Merlin told her, not wanting to mention the destiny they share, "I'm exactly where I need to be... where I want to be and that hasn't got anything to do with me having magic, although it has come in handy at times." 

"I'm really not alone in this." 

"You're not and I can help you learn to control your magic, show you that having magic doesn't mean that you're evil or bad... it can be used for good." 

"I'd like that," Morgana agreed with a smile that lit up her eyes. 

Knowing that he was going to be late to wake up Arthur, Merlin excused himself and rushed to the kitchen to collect Arthur's breakfast leaving Gaius to deal with the aftermath. Sharing his secret with Morgana of all people had been scary, but the weight that it lifted from his shoulders felt good and for the first time in a while, his destiny seemed possible to fulfill.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tournament has started and things are about to get tense!

Arthur was extra snappy all morning, but Merlin knew that he was just nervous about the tournament and tried to not take offense to his harsh words. Attaching the last piece of armor, he retrieved Arthur's sword from the table and handed it to him as someone knocked on the door. 

“Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur stated with a small smile, before turning towards the door, “Come.” 

Watching as Agravaine entered, Merlin returned to his duties and listened closely to the conversation going on. Noticing the way Arthur suddenly tensed, he finished straightening the bed and cleared his throat as he approached the men. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, sire, but we should be heading down to the arena,” Merlin said, earning a glare from Agravaine and ignoring him in favor of looking at Arthur. 

“If you’ll excuse me, uncle, I have a ceremony to attend,” Arthur added, “We will discuss this matter further at the council meeting tomorrow.” 

Following Arthur out to the Arena, Merlin stopped by the entrance and watched as Morgana made the official speech to announce the tournaments start. The next few days would be chaos for Merlin, having to split his time between helping Gaius deal with tending to the injured and serving Arthur. 

On top of his usual duties, he would also be expected to serve Arthur at the nightly feasts that ran on for far too long and fulfill his destiny in between. Helping to treat the first casualty a while later, Merlin sighed as Gwen entered the tent and told him that Arthur was looking for him. 

“Go see what Arthur wants Merlin,” Gaius told him, “Gwen can help me here.” 

Waiting for Gwen to nod in response, Merlin quickly washed his hands and went to find Arthur. Finding him in his tent, Merlin helped him out of his armor and frowned when Arthur groaned in pain. 

“Are you hurt?” Merlin asked. 

“No, I just pulled my shoulder in that last round,” Arthur confessed, circling it with another groan and sighed as it clicked. 

“How’re you feeling out there?” 

“Rusty,” Arthur replied, looking over at Merlin and smirking, “Are you worried about me?” 

“Of course,” Merlin stated without hesitation, “After all, if you die then I lose my job and I really like my job.” 

Chuckling, Arthur shook his head and turned to check his sword. 

“I promise to be careful,” Arthur added with a grin, although Merlin could tell that he was being serious, “My sword is going to need polishing as well as my armor, plus there’s a feast tonight and I expect you to be there to keep me sane.” 

“I thought I was there to keep Gwaine in line,” Merlin joked with a smile. 

“That too.” 

Taking Arthur’s armor and sword to the weapon’s shed, Merlin got straight to work. He was just finishing up, when he heard someone enter and looked up as a set of armor was dropped in front of him. 

“You can do that while you’re there,” a gruff voice ordered. 

“It’s not my job,” Merlin replied, standing up to return Arthur’s sword to his room and stopping as fingers wrapped tightly around his arm. 

“It wasn’t a request.” 

“I would strongly suggest removing your hand from my friend’s arm,” came Lancelot’s voice, causing relief to wash through Merlin, “Now.” 

Glancing over at Lancelot as the other knight released him, Merlin moved to stand behind his friend and gave him a grateful smile. 

“Apologies,” the knight said, “I didn’t realize that he had already been claimed...” 

“Merlin, shouldn’t you be getting back to Arthur?” Lancelot inquired, emphasizing Arthur’s name, “I’ll see you at the feast.” 

Making his way back to Arthur’s chambers, he found it empty and laid the armor on the table with the sword. Heading to Gaius’ chamber to eat before the feast, he found his mentor checking on a patient and thanked him as he motioned for Merlin to take a bowl of stew from the table. 

“How’s it looking?” Merlin inquired. 

“He has a badly broken arm and some bruised ribs,” Gaius replied, “It’s going to be a painful recovery.” 

Grimacing, Merlin finished his stew and made his way over to the banquet hall to find Arthur already seated. Collecting a jug of wine from the side, he took his place at the wall and waited for Arthur to call him over. 

“Merlin,” Arthur called almost immediately, causing Merlin to roll his eyes and move to stand at Arthur’s side. 

“Yes, Sire.” 

“How bad were the injuries today?” 

“Not too severe,” Merlin replied quietly, “Mainly just minor scrapes, but one knight ended up with a badly broken arm and some bruised ribs.” 

“Will he make a full recovery?” 

“I don’t see why not, although Gaius says that it’s going to be painful and long.” 

“At least he will fully recover.” 

Pouring Arthur some more wine, Merlin returned to his position against the wall and scanned the room to find the knight from the weapons shed watching him. Hearing Gwaine call his name, he made his way over to where the knights were sitting and nodded in greeting. 

“You have an admirer,” Gwaine teased with a smirk, motioning towards the knight, “Friend of yours?” 

“Yeah, if a friend tries to make you polish his armor,” Merlin replied. 

The rest of the night passed without incident and Merlin was finally able to return to Gaius’ chamber, collapsing on his bed in exhaustion.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's magic at the tournament and Merlin may have just exposed himself, but it was all to save Arthur...

Waking up early the following morning feeling well rested, Merlin collected Arthur’s breakfast from the kitchen and then headed to wake up the prince regent from his beauty sleep. Placing the tray on the table, he moved over to the curtains and pulled them back with a grin. 

“Rise and shine, sire, you have a fun day ahead,” Merlin shouted cheerily. 

“Does it include a lay-in?” Arthur mumbled in reply. 

“Unfortunately not, but it does include an early meeting with all the council members and the knights,” Merlin told him. 

Groaning, Arthur pushed himself into a sitting position and ran a hand over his face. Laying Arthur’s clothes on the bed, Merlin watched as he moved to the table to eat and smiled. 

“I expect you to be at the meeting too,” Arthur said as he ate. 

“I can’t,” Merlin replied, “Morgana needs my help with something.” 

“Merlin, you do realize that you’re my manservant?” 

“Arthur, you do realize that if I don’t help Morgana then you’ll have to?” Merlin added. 

“Fine,” Arthur agreed moodily, finishing breakfast in silence and getting changed, “I expect you at that meeting as soon as you’ve finished helping Morgana.” 

“Of course.” 

Taking Arthur’s dirty dishes to the kitchen, Merlin made his way to Morgana’s chambers and knocked on the door. Smiling in greeting as Gwen opened the door, he watched her leave and turned his attention to Morgana. 

“Thank you for agreeing to do this, Merlin,” Morgana said, knowing just how much Merlin was risking to help her, “What did you tell Arthur?” 

“Just that you needed my help with something, which isn’t a complete lie,” Merlin told her with a smile. 

Arthur looked about ready to kill someone by the time Merlin finally arrived at the council meeting, taking his place behind Arthur and smiling at Gwaine as the knight nodded in his direction. 

“What’s next on the list?” Arthur asked, scanning the table and glancing over at Merlin when Agravaine stood up to speak, “Uncle?” 

“There have been a number of reports about the use of magic in the lower town,” Agravaine explained, causing Merlin to tense slightly and glance over at Lancelot. 

“How many of those reports have come in since a reward was announced for anyone who came forward with information?” Lancelot inquired with a frown. 

“Well, all of them if you must know,” Agravaine replied, “We decided that a reward was the most effective route to take...” 

“How many of the reports can be proven?” Arthur added, “Money will make anyone talk, but it’s the truth behind those words that concerns me...” 

“Is the word of your people not enough, sire?” 

“Not if they are simply after the reward that follows,” Arthur stated, earning mumbles of agreement from the other council members, “Merlin?” 

“Yes, Sire,” Merlin replied, stepping forward and bowing his head. 

“What’s it like down in the lower town?” 

“Hard,” Merlin told them, “Most of the families are living in houses that are in dire need of repair and the small amount that they sell at market is barely enough to feed them... they’re desperate.” 

“Desperate enough to lie in order to get that reward money?” Arthur asked. 

“Not all, but some...” 

“Thank you, Merlin, I propose removing the offer of a reward in order to stop false allegations of magic use and keeping a closer eye on the lower town,” Arthur suggested, earning votes and nods in favor from the other lords, “I also want to see where we are able to help, whether it be with fixing up homes or offering extra food to families with children.” 

The rest of the meeting went by quickly and Merlin soon found himself back in Arthur’s chambers, helping him into his armor for the next round of the tournament. Making sure that everything was fastened properly, he picked up the sword he’d laid on the table and handed it over with a smile. 

“Good luck out there.” 

“I don’t need luck, but I’ll take it since it’s from you...” Arthur stated, clearing his throat as he realized what he’d said, “Let’s go.” 

Following Arthur down to the arena, Merlin checked in with Gaius and stood with his mentor as the first fight began. It didn’t take long for Merlin to detect the use of magic, but it wasn’t until Arthur was fighting and losing that he figured out who it was. 

“That knights enchanted his sword,” Merlin told Gaius quietly, “Arthur doesn’t stand a chance against him.” 

“Be careful, Merlin,” Gaius warned. 

Stepping forward, Merlin made sure that no one was watching and focused on the knight to break his spell. Smiling as the enchantment broke, Merlin watched as Arthur defeated the knight and swallowed nervously as Arthur turned to look at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Arthur see? How will he react if he did?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Merlin heading for the pyre? Or will he lose his head? Only Arthur has the answer to that.

Merlin could deal with Arthur’s yelling and snapping because at least he knew what was going on in his friend's head, but silent Arthur was another story completely. The silence hung in the air like the few moments before a falling glass hit the floor, Merlin focused on trying to read Arthur’s expression and quickly gave up. 

“How long?” Arthur asked quietly, causing Merlin to frown, “How long have you been practicing magic?” 

“I... I was born with it,” Merlin told him honestly, knowing that lying would only anger the prince more and not help his situation, “Mother says that I was moving things with my mind, before I could walk or talk.” 

“I need time to decide what I’m going to do, you’re dismissed for the rest of the day...” Arthur mumbled, running a hand over his face and sitting down at the table. 

“Arthur,” Merlin called as he reached the door, waiting for Arthur to look at him and continuing, “I know what your view is on magic, but I would never do anything to hurt you or Camelot.” 

Watching as Arthur nodded, Merlin left and made his way back to Gaius’ chambers. Fear clawed at him as endless scenarios swirled in his mind, all ending with pain and his death. Opening the door to Gaius’ chambers, Merlin entered, surprised to find both Lancelot and Morgana waiting for him inside. 

“Well, you haven’t been arrested and thrown in the cells,” Gauis commented as Merlin closed the door, “That’s got to be a good sign, right?” 

“There’s still time for that, his dismissed me for the rest of the day to decide what he’s going to do with me,” Merlin replied, sighing and sitting down beside Lancelot, “Everything I’ve done in order to fulfill this destiny... to keep him alive and I could be dead tomorrow.” 

“Is there nothing we can do?” Morgana inquired. 

“There’s plenty we could do, forgetting spells, I could leave and never come back, but I can’t do that to Arthur,” Merlin answered, “He’s a lot of things, but he’s not unjust and I have to believe that he’ll see past his hatred for magic... for both our sakes.” 

*** 

Merlin had magic. His clumsy idiot of a manservant had used magic in public, where anyone could have seen, in order to protect him and Arthur wasn’t sure how he felt about it. That was a lie, he knew exactly how he felt about it... hurt and a little angry. 

He was hurt that Merlin hadn’t felt as though he could confide in him and angry that the idiot... _his_ idiot had risked his own safety to stop him from getting hurt. He had been raised to believe that magic and all that practiced it were evil, but this was Merlin. 

Sitting at the table in his chambers, Arthur sighed and rested his chin on his hands. He could hear his dad’s voice in his head telling him that Merlin should die, but for the first time in ages, he refused to listen and made a silent vow to protect the man he loved. 

Love was such a strong word, but it was the only word that encapsulated everything he felt and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. There wasn’t really a specific moment when he realized, but more like little moments that created a big change within him and the way he felt. Things like his smile and the way the spark in his eye seemed to dance when he laughed... when he was truly happy. 

Sending a guard to fetch George, Arthur requested that the servant bring him his dinner and ate as George completed his chores in silence. Heading to bed straight after, he laid staring at the ceiling and slowly drifted off to sleep. 

*** 

Being summoned by Arthur the following morning, Merlin nervously approached the door of his chambers and hesitated before knocking. Waiting for permission to enter, Merlin took a deep breath and entered. 

“Leave us,” Arthur ordered George, waiting for the man to leave and turning to look at Merlin. 

“Before you lay down your punishment,” Merlin said, needing Arthur to hear him out and knowing that it could be his last chance, “I know that you have a duty to your father and I would never ask you to go against him, but I need you to listen first. I have never used my magic for anything other than protecting you and if I’m going to die, then I want you to know that I don’t regret any of it...” 

“Merlin...” Arthur mumbled with a frown. 

“Let me finish,” Merlin added, “I’ve told you before that I am happy to serve you until the day I die and if that day has come, then I’m okay with that because I have no doubt that you will be fine with the round table knights fighting at your side. You’re going to make a great king one day, Arthur...” 

“Will you stop talking about dying,” Arthur snapped, running a hand over his face, “Nobody is dying, especially not you, do you really think that I would have you executed?” 

“Honestly, I don’t know...” Merlin replied with a shrug. 

“Execution hasn’t once crossed my mind... not once, I **need** you to believe that,” Arthur practically pleaded, taking Merlin by surprise, “I was angry and I was hurt, but I am not my father. I can tell the difference between what is good and what is evil... you’re everything good, Merlin.” 

“I... I have magic though,” Merlin stammered. 

“You’re also a clumsy, babbling idiot, but it doesn’t change the fact that I trust you with my life. Through everything good or bad, you have stuck loyally by my side and now, I’m going to do the same for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
